Or so many Jewish women teachers would have us believe. I have listened to many shiurim (religious classes) over the years that talk about the female spirit and female personality traits. I have read books and articles that discuss Jewish femininity and what it means to be a Jewish woman.
A few days ago, I got yet another daily dose of inspiration from a female lecturer I have heard speak in person and whom I admire as an individual. However, the essay she sent regurgitated the same sentiments about women I have heard repeatedly to explain why women don’t need to play a public role in orthodox Jewish life. Simply, they don’t want to.
According to this rebbetzin’s missive, all Jewish women are innately private people, who can speak to G-d alone or behind a mechitza and feel connected without playing an active role in synagogue services or public venues. Although all women have a tendency to want to be private in their lives without having attention called to them, in the 21st century, we are confused by the allure of the variety of public roles that secular women have taken in our culture. As Jewish women, we question our instincts to be private when being a public figure is the only marker of success in today’s world.
The author goes on to give chizuk (support) to women to continue their role of the private person and leave the showmanship to the men. She appeals to us to leave secular standards of accomplishments by the wayside and realize that the only road to success for a Jewish woman is the private path.
I have heard this argument so many times and each time it rings a little more false. I find it presumptuous for someone to tell me what my nature is and how I can best serve Hashem based on stereotyped characteristics about my sex. I happen to not be a good example of my argument, because I am rather shy and also self-conscious about my Hebrew reading skills. I would be scared stiff to be called upon to lain, get an aliyah, or lead the davening. However, I know many women who could lain circles around many of the men who are called upon to do so each week on the bimah.
I also know many women who are quite outgoing and gregarious – not at all private and retiring. Quite a few of these women are able to nurture their natures in secular careers where they have a lot of responsibility, engage in social networking, and perform public speaking duties. However, in the frum world, these same women take a silent backseat in Jewish communal life due to their enforced private natures.
I simply dislike stereotypes and trying to neatly peg a person into whatever shape best suits the kind of society you are trying to create. Who benefits from women being pegged as private homebodies? Is it truly to the benefit of women or does it really benefit the men, who get to stay in charge? Also, why is it that most of these stereotypes (stemming from torah interpretations) have been created by men, but they are perpetuated by women (rebbetzins, female teachers, mothers, grandmothers). Why do we do this to ourselves?
It isn’t hard to convince people that making negative stereotypes about a certain group of people is a bad thing. Jewish people are no strangers to negative stereotyping and we have organizations, such as the ADL, to publicly and legally defend Jews from intolerance.
I did an internship with my local ADL chapter when I was a senior in college. I went to various events where ADL speakers engaged audiences of many races, religions, ethnicities, and genders to promote understanding. The punchline to these gatherings was that in the end, there are far more similarities between everyone than differences.
I was interested to read an article about “Linsanity” NBA basketball star, Jeremy Lin. In a 60 minutes interview, he talks about how he was discriminated against as an Asian American basketball player.
Fans and opposing teams would hurl insults at Lin about Chinese food, the color of his skin, and his appearance. Despite being a finalist for Mr. Basketball State Player of the Year in 2006, Lin didn’t receive any scholarships from Division I schools, so he went to Harvard. After finishing Harvard, he wasn’t drafted into the NBA. Basically, Jeremy Lin had to fight for his career every step of the way due to the stereotype that Asians can’t possibly be top contending players in basketball.
Anyone reading this story would agree that the kind of stereotyping Jeremy Lin had to face is wrong. Why then, are there many more articles written about how African American basketball players resent the stereotype that all black people have a natural affinity for the sport? Isn’t this stereotype an advantage compared to what Jeremy Lin has had to endure?
In an article called, The “Aren’t you good at sports?” assumption, the question of earning your place, whether on the basketball court or the business boardroom, is the big issue. Am I to be commended because I blink my eyes at appropriate intervals so that they don’t dry out? No, this is just the way my body was made to automatically function. It takes no rehearsal or talent.
When you stereotype African American athletes as having a natural inclination for sports, you dismiss all of the hard work and dedication that goes into being a top tier athlete. The concept that superstar athletes achieve their status due to nature and not nurture bleeds into other areas of life as well. Society questions the success of African Americans in other areas because of this question of merit. Did they receive the title, honor, or job because of their hard work or because of their skin color and all that it implies? It’s easy to see how a stereotype that seems positive on the surface can be a slippery slope to discrimination.
Going further to prove this point is a study in the journal, Psychological Science, entitled, “Even Positive Stereotypes Can Hinder Performance.” The study focuses on social and academic stereotypes of boys and girls and how that affects performance. In two experiments with 4- to 7-year-olds, the children performed more poorly after they were exposed to broad generalizations that associated success on a given task with membership in a certain social group, regardless of whether the children themselves belonged to that group. These findings suggest that even when children hear positive stereotypes about their gender, their performance can be impaired by leading them to believe that success depends primarily on innate talent and has little to do with factors under their control, such as effort.
Even positive stereotypes meant to compliment can be discouraging. Particularly if the hue you are being painted with doesn’t flatter. Am I a failure as a woman if I don’t wish to marry or have children? Am I an outcast if want to be an actress instead of a teacher or occupational therapist? On the flip side, what if I am the best wife, mom, teacher, or OT in the community? Are my triumphs truly earned or was it simply the automatic progression of my pre-programmed DNA? I don’t think we can truly value individual merit in our society until we rid ourselves of sweeping sex-based stereotypes.
I was glad to see in an Associated Press report that Western Wall rabbi, Shmuel Rabinovich, has agreed to expand the Western Wall plaza to create a permanent area for mixed-gender and women-led prayer. I have always believed that the kotel is a holy site for people of every Jewish denomination, and no worshiper should be forced into observing another denomination’s way of praying at the western wall.
While the creation of a third section for mixed and women-led services is a victory for non-orthodox Jewish worshipers, it is also a victory for all women. The issue of resistance to women praying publicly among men was the impetus for this change. While I daven at a shul with a mechitza and do not have the desire to wear a tallis or kippa, I do support the right of other Jewish women who wish to daven differently than I do.
Furthermore, the issue of women davening at the kotel in the same comfort as men is an issue for all Jewish women, non-orthodox or orthodox. To see a fantastic expose on how women are slowly being squeezed out of the western wall, please see a post on Hannah Katzman’s blog entitled, Separate and Unequal at the Western Wall.
I was really excited to find the discussion of gay marriage discussed with empathy and compassion over at PopChassid. It doesn’t bother me that he doesn’t come out clearly for gay marriage; I’m more impressed that his overall attitude is that gay orthodox Jews should be treated with respect and compassion.
The Miss
Really, Guard Your Eyes (in the words of Seth Meyers)? I know that you are a breakout organization trying to help 21st century orthodox Jews combat addictions to pornography and other deviant compulsive sexual behaviors, but including same sex attraction as one of those deviant categories? Really? And yes, while I think that it is quite progressive of an orthodox organization to include the 12 steps and use licensed therapists as a means to assist your clients in overcoming sex addictions, why in the world would your section on same sex attraction use case studies and tools from JONAH - a conversion therapy organization that is currently being sued by former clients? To me, for an organization as revolutionary and needed as yours, to perpetuate the idea that being gay is a choice and something that one can change is both hurtful and dangerous.
Ahhh…and so it continues. This morning, despite a compromise looming toward law, Israeli police arrested five women (members of Women of the Wall or WOW) for wearing tallitot (prayer shawls) while participating in a Rosh Chodesh prayer service at the Western Wall attended by some 200 women. They also arrested a man for lighting one of the women’s prayer books on fire.
This morning, an article by Yori Yanover of the Jewish Press popped up in my news alerts entitled, The Most Dangerous Women in Israel. Interestingly, Mr. Yanover quotes sources from the Talmud and Maimonides that give halachic permission for women to wrap themselves in talitot and put on tefillin. However, he later cites revered rabbanim who prohibited such actions because women who choose to take on these mitzvot must be doing so out of haughtiness or resentment.
Yanover then goes on to agree with JAFI Director, Natan Sharansky, who hurls a bitter prediction that the Women of the Wall will cause a civil war in Israel. Yanover bemoans the fact that, on a practical level, instead of cursing them out 25 years ago and “arresting them and schlepping them to court and humiliating them, it would have been better to have just tolerated those women coming once a month to sing before the Kotel an hour or two, and go home.” Well, you do catch more flies with honey than vinegar.
This article caught my eye because of a conversation I had yesterday with my husband who said that the ever increasing stringencies imposed upon women regarding tznius (modesty), media images, and public life, is due to fear. Truthfully, he was speaking about a very select, although growing, portion of frum society. The society in which the husband learns full time while the wife works, takes care of the bills, takes care of the kids, takes care of the home, and in reality is in charge of everything except halachic and hashkafic decisions.
How to Train an Elephant
I am reminded of a story I heard a few years ago about training circus elephants. When a baby elephant first joins the circus, the trainer attaches one end of a rope around its leg and attaches the other end to a stake in the ground. Initially, the baby elephant fights to pull free from the rope, but soon exhausts itself to no avail. The harder it pulls the more the rope digs into its skin causing bleeding and pain. The baby simply isn’t strong enough to break free.
Learned Helplessness
Eventually, the little elephant finally learns that it is useless to struggle against its bondage. It will never break free. In fact, even when it grows up to 13 feet and 14,000 lbs, the circus handler can still use the same rope and stake from infancy with the same effect. The elephant learned a lifelong lesson that it can never break free, regardless of its size or power.
Enlightenment
Do you know what happens when there is a fire at the circus and the elephant, in its panic, accidentally breaks its rope and escapes? The elephant can never be used in the circus again, because it now realizes its own strength and ability to break its bonds. It will no longer obey its trainer.
Have you had any penguin sightings lately? Not the kind that live in Antarctica or your local zoo, but the kind that visit the zoo during chol moed. Living in an orthodox Jewish neighborhood is kind of like living in the first half of the movie, Pleasantville. Everyone is dressed in black and white. For many years the white shirt, black pants, black jacket, and black shoes have been the standard uniform of any self-respecting yeshivish man. A suit for dressy occasions or a sportcoat and pants combination for weekdays are the main variations in wardrobe for these men.
Now it has spread to the women too – minus the white. Go to a synagogue service or an orthodox Jewish wedding and at least 80% of the women will be dressed all in black. It’s no secret that black is loved in the fashion world. Black can be sleek, sophisticated, slimming, and dare I say, sexy. I am no stranger to black and admit to having way too much of it in my closet. However, it is disturbing to arrive at an event filled with men and women who could either be dressed for a wedding or a funeral (if there is a band and a smorgasbord you know it’s party time!).
To me, the trend toward uniformity in dress within the orthodox Jewish community is disturbing. I feel that halacha gives men and women a framework to use so that we uphold the standards of tzniut and are reminded that we are Jews and should behave accordingly. However, did Hashem mean to create an army of drones dressed in black so that one soldier can’t be distinguished from the next? Is it now required to wear a uniform identical to your neighbor in order to prove that you belong?
I have been pleased to find that there are orthodox Jewish women who are bringing color back into the orthodox Jewish world. Some are married women doing so through their head scarves, clothing, and accessories. What I like about these women is that they embrace the concept of tzniut (modesty) in their dress, yet they maintain their individuality with style. They have been liberated from black.
Check out the “Lady Wrap Stars” featured on the Wrapunzel blog. These are women who incorporate color into both their clothing and hair coverings. I love the creativity and joy with which these women perform the miztvah of tzniut. Now if we can only get more men to follow their lead and put a little color back into their lives!
Think public sex segregation is only happening in Israel? Think again! The Satmar community in the city of Kiryas Joel in Monroe, New York has built the world’s first sex segregated public playground.
The playground is built on an area of 283 acres. There are four sections to the park: one for fathers with their sons, a second for mothers with their daughters, a third for just boys and a fourth for just girls. The blue areas are for boys and the red and white sections are for girls -
Image may be NSFW. Clik here to view.
Image may be NSFW. Clik here to view.
Note that the images of the park are from an article in Behadey Haredim, which touts itself as being the “World’s Largest Haredim Portal.” Hence, there are no pictures of mothers and daughters playing on the red side.
A Yiddish sign welcoming visitors asks that people “maintain gender separation in all public areas” according to marked signs indicating where each sex should play. These rules will be enforced by the Committee of Modesty of Kiryas Joel, who will make sure there is no intermingling of boys and girls.
The park site is just outside the boundaries Kiryas Joel on land the village bought more than a decade ago. The state gave Kiryas Joel a $195,000 grant in 2001 to build a park, but village officials said several years later that they had canceled those plans and passed up the money. Apparently no state or federal funds were used for this park project, specifically so that the Satmar could impose its own rules on use of the park.
There are conflicting accounts of whether the park will be restricted to Kiryas Joel residents. Village Attorney Don Nichol said he expected it to be open to anyone but probably used primarily by Kiryas Joel’s Hasidic population. Councilman Harley Doles had a different take. “My understanding is it’s only for the residents of Kiryas Joel, because no state or federal funds are being used.”
The park was built with special financing obtained by Mayor Rabbi Abraham Wieder. The mayor and his fellow council members consulted the Satmar Rebbe, by whom all the affairs of the city are decided, and according to his guidance the plan was outlined. One of the benefits of funding the park without government money is that they can make rules to prevent non-Jews and non-religious (or non-Satmar) Jews from using the park facilities. The article in Behadrey Haredim says, “Foreigners who do not belong to the Orthodox stream, are not allowed to work out (at the on site gym facility) and the site is reserved for locals only.”
I’m sure that many people would like to know how a park built on village-owned land, payed for by public tax payers, is able to be renovated and run by a private religious group. While everyone knows that the town of Kiryas Joel is basically a relocated Hungarian/Romanian shtetle, completely run by Satmar elected officials, how can they prevent non-Satmars from entering a public park (even if the land was cleared and the equipment bought by the Satmars)? I’m sure this isn’t going to be the end of the story.
All I can say, is that as a mother of boys and a girl, I can’t imagine going to a park where I can’t keep an eye on all of my kids. It’s bad enough when a young son has to go to the bathroom while out and about. Any mom with a boy between the ages of 6-11ish knows what I mean. They are too old to go into the ladies room with you (“I can’t go in there – it’s for girls!”) and they are too young to go into the mens room alone without fear of abduction, molestation, or any other number of nasty possibilities. Now we have parks where only the same sex parent can bring kids of the same sex? So if my husband wanted to bring all the kids to the park, my daughter would be on her own? If I brought them, my boys would be running amok on the other side of a hill under no supervision? If one of my boys came running to find me because he got a boo-boo, a modesty committee patrolman would accost either him, me, or both and shoo us back to our respective sections?
Sex segregated parenting. Hmmm…now that I think about it, considering that I have four boys and one girl, I would be stupid not to accept the offer. Now how will I break it to my husband that he gets the boys?
Yom Hazikaron is Israel’s Memorial Day for fallen soldiers or any victims of terror who died since 1860, when Jews were first allowed to live in Israel outside of Jerusalem’s Old City walls. Here are some stories of fallen women that touched me.
On the day before her wedding (9/9/03), Nava Applebaum (20) and her father (50) were killed in a suicide bombing. Friends and relatives were all in town for Nava’s wedding, and her father took one last opportunity for a quiet heart to heart talk with his daughter by taking her to Cafe Hillel alone. Instead of the intended wedding, invited guests attended the funerals of both father and daughter. The devastated chosson (groom) threw the wedding band he was going to give Nava into her grave. Many memorials and charitable projects have been undertaken in Nava’s name. One of the most touching is the use of Nava’s wedding gown. The top of Applebaum’s unworn wedding gown was made into a covering for the Torah ark at Rachel’s Tomb. It is inscribed: “Nava Applebaum, A Bride for Eternity.” The skirt of the wedding gown was formed into a wedding canopy for other couples to stand beneath during their chuppah ceremony.
On March 11, 2011, two Arab teenagers managed to sneak into the Israeli neighborhood of Itamar in the dead of night, and murder five members of the Fogel family: Rabbi Ehud (Udi) Fogel, 36, his wife Ruti, 35, and three of their children – Yoav, 11, Elad, 4, and Hadas, 3 months old. They were found by their 12 year old daughter, who had been at a shabbos youth group that evening. The family was no stranger to adversity, as they had moved to Itamar after being thrown out of their former Gush Katif home. The Fogel family memory lives on and continues to inspire people to have faith, value community, and uphold the Jewish commitment to living in Israel. Sadly, after her death, Ruti Fogel’s image was the subject of controversy when Machon Meir (Meir Institute), a Jerusalem-based religious Zionism center, published in their weekly bulletin a photo of the murdered Fogel family members, but blurred the face of Mrs. Fogel, due to the institute’s policy that forbids publishing women’s pictures.
Image may be NSFW. Clik here to view.
On May 2, 2004, Tali Hatuel (34) and her 4 daughters were killed after their car was ambushed by 2 Palestinian gunman. Tali Hatuel was driving with her daughters to meet her husband in the nearby town of Ashkelon. As they were driving on the Kissufim road leading out of the Gaza Strip the Palestinian gunmen began shooting at her car. The car spun off the road and the gunmen shot mother and all four daughters at point blank range. Tali Hatuel lived in the Gaza settlement of Gush Katif with her husband David and their four daughters Hila (11), Hadar (9), Roni (7) and Merav (2). At the time of the killings, Tali Hatuel was 8 months pregnant, and expecting a boy. She was a social worker who devoted much of her time to helping Israelis who had lost relatives in terror attacks.
May their neshamas and those of all fallen Jews have an aliya and may their memories be for a blessing to all of klal yisrael.
I found it both horrific and ironic that the Boston Marathon Massacre happened on Yom HaZikaron. Horrific for the obvious emotions that sudden and senseless death, injury, and destruction invoke. Ironic because while I sat in the safety of my American home on Yom HaZikaron, remembering the courageous souls who braved danger each day in order to maintain a Jewish hold in the land of Israel , terror and carnage were happening right here in the United States.
It’s so easy for me to think that it’s safer for my family to live in America. I can honestly say that I have never felt afraid to be a Jew in America, but I have known that fear while getting lost in the Arab quarter in Jerusalem or taking a shortcut path with a tour guide beyond King David’s palace through an Arab village. I know what it’s like to be looked at with hatred because of my head scarf or the kippot on my sons’ heads. Not in Chicago, but in the Jewish homeland.
However, when events like 9/11 or the Boston Marathon Massacre happen, it jolts me back to reality. I am living with a false sense of security. Carnage can happen anywhere. Heck, I live in the murder capital of the U.S.! If anything, Hashem’s closer presence in the holy land of Israel will be of more protection than that which distance away from the land can provide.
I am truly grateful that I am an American citizen and allowed to practice Judaism freely. I am grateful for the opportunities and comforts provided by living in the United States. However, any argument made that living in America is safer than living in Israel is a fallacy. It’s days like today that remind me that Hashem really is the master planner and in charge of all of our fates – whether in galus or in Eretz Yisrael.
A few years ago my husband and I received a wedding invitation from friends marrying off their son. Being a modern orthodox family, we assumed that the wedding would have mixed seating of men and women at the dinner reception. As many similar functions in our community are becoming increasingly sex segregated, we looked forward to an evening out that we would actually get to spend together.
Imagine our dismay when we arrived at the event, went to look for our seating cards, and found that we were placed at two separate tables. Another one bites the dust. My husband and I said our reluctant farewells, retreated to our separate sides of the mechitza, and he texted me to meet him in the lobby at the end of the evening. So much for date night.
The next time my husband saw the father of the groom, he asked him why he would have separate seating at the event. The man responded that there were a few prominent rabbis that he invited who would not have come if there had been mixed seating. In order to accommodate their delicate sensibilities, he made his entire simcha separate seating so that no one would be offended.
My husband told me privately that the father’s tactic hadn’t worked, because we were offended!
When does one person’s religious sensibilities take precedence over another person’s? Is it when those sensibilities are more conservative or right wing? The more stringent the opinion, the more valid it must be?
Another example of this placation happened recently when we were involved in planning an organizational dinner. This organization historically had mixed seating at its dinner, but this year, a few committee members suggested that since attendees would be running the full spectrum of orthodoxy, perhaps it was time to make it a separate seating affair. In the end, the majority of the dinner was mixed seating, with two separate seating tables for those who requested it. Those tables were basically empty the entire night.
When we got married 19 years ago, Rabbi Ahron Soloveichik, was our mesader kiddushin. We knew that there were some people attending who would be more comfortable with separate seating, but we also knew that we had many more people who would be uncomfortable with it. We decided to ask Rabbi Soloveichik if he wanted us to make two separate seating tables to accommodate himself and other such guests. He told us he preferred to sit with next to his wife, as she cuts up his meat for him! In the end, we had no separate tables.
I don’t think that the “hair of the dog” approach to hyper-chumra stringencies works. The belief that rabies could be prevented by putting the “hair of the dog” that bit you into the wound came about during time of Shakespeare. Now that phrase is more commonly used to describe an alcoholic beverage taken in the morning as a cure for a hangover. The general concept is to cure a problem by using a bit of the substance that caused the original problem.
When we decide, in the name of tolerance and inclusiveness, to change our manner of behavior (such as mixed seating events) we are using the hair of the dog approach. However, the more we adopt these chumras as a means of accommodation to our more right wing brethren, the more these chumras become ingrained in our society at large. By trying to be non-offensive, we are ensuring that our own customs are being eliminated. I have no problem respecting the mores of those who make a simcha and want total separation of men and women. I will stick to my side of the mechitza. What I want to know is why this respect can’t work both ways?
When my kids were little, one of them still is, they would often accidentally call me Morah (teacher). They would proceed to giggle, blush, and say, “I mean, Mommy!” I often wondered if they sometimes accidentally called their Morah, Mommy?
It didn’t bother me that they would sometimes refer to me as Morah, because it told me two things – that they thought of me as their teacher (which I am) and that they thought of their Morah as a nurturing mother figure (which they are).
Female role models in the classroom offer so much in the way of knowledge, creativity, and warmth. True, there are many male teachers that are very warm and caring. However, I feel it is a shame that after a certain point in the orthodox day school system, most boys no longer benefit from female teachers.
In the elementary school that my kids attend, boys have only male rabbaim for Hebrew subjects after 3rd grade, but they continue to have a mix of male and female teachers for English subjects until 8th grade. The girls have female teachers for Hebrew subjects through 8th grade, and both male and female teachers for English subjects.
However, in high school things change. Girls have a mix of female and male teachers (mostly female) in the all girls high school, but the boys in yeshiva (I have boys in two different yeshivot) only have male teachers for both Hebrew and English subjects. The only women in the schools are secretaries.
In many ways, I wish that my older boys still had Morahs for some of their subjects. I think that boys can really benefit from a woman’s perspective and teaching style. I think it is also a good life skill lesson for a young man to learn to relate to women in a friendly, yet professional manner. It is also healthy for young men to learn that women can be authorities on various academic and religious subjects, and can act as mentors in their fields of expertise.
I wonder if frum men remember their Morahs, or moms-away-from-home, fondly? I wonder if they feel they are missing out by not having a female perspective in the classroom?
Photo courtesy of Fayga Marks via Jewish Action Magazine at http://www.ou.org/jewish_action/files/marks.jpg
I really loved this article about Fayga Marks, a chareidi IDF soldier from Ramat Beit Shemash. She is a woman who had the conviction to go against the grain of her communal norms and prove that women can remain frum while serving their country. She is a role model for both women in the military and orthodox women everywhere.
I found it interesting that although Fayga joined Shachar Kachol (a program that trains Chareidim to be army technicians), the standards of tznius and kashrut were still lacking. Still, she managed to find ways to uphold her levels of religiosity despite the difficulties. Note Fayga’s army uniform skirt in the photo – that was her creation, as no other soldier had ever worn a skirt before!
The beautiful part about her story is that, contrary to Fayga being negatively affected by her environment, instead she brought a positive change to those around her. Quite a few of her fellow secular Jewish soldiers took on mitzvot and developed an interest in learning about Judaism due to her example.
I found a quote in the last part of Fayga’s story to be both heartbreaking and hopeful, “…I haven’t gotten used to being back in Chareidi society. I never truly fit in here. In the army, I felt I had found a place, a purpose. I gained a lot from being in a secular society and having to defend my religious lifestyle….”
As soon as I began reading Fayga’s article, I wondered how she was faring back in her chareidi community. Her parents and others had warned that her reputation would be negatively impacted by joining the IDF and that she would never get a shidduch. I wonder if that is the case? I certainly hope that her family, friends, and neighbors realize what an amazing and courageous young woman they have in their midst.
My hope is that Fayga continues to inspire women and Jews everywhere. She has the potential to be a role model for other orthodox Jewish young women who want serve their country. Fayga also has the ability to be a liason between the IDF and the chareidi communities. She knows first hand what is required to better reconcile the needs of the ultra religious serving in the Israeli army.
Thanks for being an inspiration and may you have continued success!
There is an article that has been making it’s way around the web that discusses a new book on the laws of blood donation written by an orthodox rabbi affiliated with Lev Malka, a Jewish blood donation organization. The book, B’Damayich Chayee, is the first-ever book on blood donation in halacha (Jewish law). The book was compiled by Rabbi Avraham Yaakov Goldmintz, and arranged as a series of questions and answers.
Apparently, the book says that orthodox Jewish men should not receive blood donations from women, non-orthodox Jews, or non-Jews, except in a dire emergency.
The first thing that came to my mind when I read this article was the quote from Shylock in William Shakespeare’s Merchant of Venice,“If you prick us, do we not bleed?” The second thing that came to mind was an episode of Archie Bunker, called Archie’s Operation, where he doubts the medical safety of receiving a blood donation from a black female doctor:
Fast forward from 21:23 to the end. Brilliant!
It should be noted that Lev Malka denies any association with the sentiments attributed to their organization or Rabbi Goldmintz’s book. In a statement made to Patheos.com writer, Hemant Mehta, a Lev Malka spokesperson said,
“In the name of Lev Malka, this is a total fabrication, and misrepresentation of the facts mainly due to erroneous translation of the Hebrew source. Note that there are no references cited for the so-called Rabbi’s ban on donating or receiving blood from the opposite gender.
Quite the contrary, our organization is the largest independent blood donor of Magen David Adom [Israel's emergency blood bank service], to which we have donated over 21,000 pints of blood. We conduct blood drives in Yeshivahs, girls’ schools, banks, medical clinics, and many other public places. We do these for men and women simultaneously, with the proper separation, as per the Halacha requirements. We collect on average 600-700 portions of blood at each such event.
We never ask the recipients of the blood their gender or affiliation. We have no interest in creating our own blood bank as the article insinuates.
Do you think the recipient of blood or a heart, kidney, or other transplant has to check where it came from? This is basic [Pikuach Nefesh, and] there are no discussions about this by any reputable Rabbi.”
There could definitely be some room for mistranslation between the Hebrew and English language. There could also be room for misinterpretation because of the well publicized separate sex blood donation drives led by Lev Malka. They hold the separate sex blood drives for reasons of tznius (modesty) so that ultra orthodox men and women can feel more comfortable when they are donating blood (not indicating that men and women couldn’t receive each other’s blood).
Since I don’t have a copy of the book, I can’t say if the allegations about the content are true. What I do know is that the growing extremism in the orthodox community can lead people to believe that the assertions above are valid. If anyone has a copy of the book or more information, feel free to enlighten me further in the comment section.
This is the Google translation of the original Hebrew article on Rabbi Goldmintzin’s book (warning – the translation doesn’t make much sense):
Religious person who needs blood donation should not receive a donation from not keep kosher. The reason: the blood of the eating Trip “spook.” Thus, the number of new law on blood donations
Moshe Heller
Last Updated: 12:04:13, 07:19
New religious book deals with sets of blood donations: the blood of predation, carrion eaters “and stupefying nature begets bad for getting blood.” According to the book may receive blood from a donor just such an emergency. Book also claimed that a man can not take blood woman and vice versa.
Tell the new laws, ‘your blood life, “reads the organization initiated by Lev Malka – engaged in introducing the subject haredi blood donations. The book discusses various dilemmas facing donors and explains how to drive.
One of the main discussions in the book deals with the identity of those who donate blood observant person. According to the authors, “there is not piety to scavengers contribution Horrors stupefy and give rise to bad nature in getting the blood, and only in times of danger it can be done without any fear.”
The book also deals with the separation of blood donations between women and men. Book presents teaching of Rabbi Chaim Pinchas Scheinberg, leaders of the Ashkenazi, who says’ Unable to raise money from people and women in the same room, but need to separate rooms or at other times. “
Also rabbis forbid a man and a woman to take blood from each other. Although at the time of saving lives it is permitted, but even the condition is that it be done by a married person and not by single.
Interesting things I can be the case that a person has a rare blood type and refuses to contribute. In one case encountered by volunteers, allowed Rabbi Scheinberg force with a rare blood type to donate it to a life-threatening condition, but it Sltorm declassified permit no medical reasons that prevent him to donate blood. It also said that because of the ban on old beat his father correctly if that son “takes blood from his father,” Rabbi Shmuel banned Vosner the year to get blood donation from his father, fearing to pass the ban.
More interesting things related to fundraising. Despite the importance of blood donation, the law stipulates that to make it in the synagogue, even so shall refrain from learning Torah because learners will be able to donate blood instead. Only in the event of no alternative to the rabbis permitted the women’s fundraising or entrance to the synagogue.
Recently had subsequently hold a fundraising event in salvation within the Bank, Tour became the focus of fundraising, since all public buildings in the neighborhood are used for study and prayer.
In addition, there are laws to back up the procedures to which we are accustomed to blood donation. For example, the fact that perform blood donation relies on lying to law forbids it standing up. Another prohibition is to donate blood if the donor made an effort, for example, after a long walk.
Finally, a person who has any of these conditions and contributed to, has a duty to wash the hands after the contribution as they do when waking from sleep. According to Rabbi Yosef Shalom Elyashiv late, who does not take his hands, “afraid of seven days.”
The Meshulach Chronicles. I have so many aggravating stories about meshulachim (charity collectors) coming to my home. Men in black, usually from Israel, who would probably make me walk on the other side of the street if I were in their neighborhoods, have no problem forcing their way through my door, uninvited, to ask for money.
I have a plumbing crew in my basement repairing damage from last week’s flash flooding in Chicago. The front door is open, as the workers have to go back and forth to their truck for supplies. Of course, the open door is an invite to anyone who wants to come into my house off of the street, right? According to the hordes of meshulachim who descend upon our city like waves of black locusts during harvest season, yes.
As workers were going in and out, I heard the faint ringing of my doorbell from upstairs. At first I ignored it, as the door was already open, and the noise sounded like a possible ringtone coming from the workers’ cell phones. When the noise continued, I went downstairs, expecting to find the work foreman trying to get my attention for an update on the flood situation. What I found was a man in black, who entered the door upon seeing me arrive. I must give him kudos for at least ringing the bell and waiting until I showed up to come inside (uninvited). I’ve had meshulachim come inside my doorway without knocking or ringing the bell, simply because the front door was unlocked while my kids played outside (and I like to listen for them).
He started his shpiel in halting English, and I gave him my standard answer, “You’ll have to come back later when my husband is home.” This is my policy because number one, my husband speaks Hebrew and can communicate with meshulachim in their native tongue; and number two, I really don’t like dealing with strange men when I am alone and/or with my children and my husband isn’t home. Most men who are asked to come back at a later time do follow up with another visit.
The man said he couldn’t wait until later. I replied, “Well, I’m sorry, but I can’t help you right now.” The man came further into the hallway and said, “Yes, you can help me right now!” I was flustered and asked to see a green card. This is a card issued by our Vaad Hatzedaka organization that determines the vailidity of meshulachim coming to Chicago to collect funds. The card has an expiration date (usually about 1 or 2 weeks) for when it can be used.
The system doesn’t really work, because so many of these guys come with white xeroxed cards, expired green cards, or in the case of this guy, someone else’s card. It’s hard for an English speaker to piece the truth together, but when this man first told me what he was collecting for, he said it was for a Yeshiva that helps kids in Israel. The green card he gave me was for a man from Bnei Brak collecting wedding funds for his child. So which is it?
I knew I didn’t have any cash on me. Between the flood and suffering from the stomach flu (or sewer cleanup poisoning) all weekend, I didn’t have a chance to go to the ATM. I no longer like giving out checks to strangers, because they copy down my information from the check, add it to their collection list, and sell or give that information to other meshulachim. I called my husband and asked if we had any cash in the house, and he said no. He told me to tell the man again that he could come back later or I couldn’t help him.
As the cleanup crew came back past the man, I told him I didn’t have cash. He mimed writing a check, and I told him I didn’t give out personal checks. I told him to come back later and he finally left. Maybe the presence of the other men coming through the door helped him with his decision to move on.
I once went to a shiur that talked about how our personal obligation to give tzedaka has nothing to do with the validity of the charities we give to. We still fulfill the mitzvah of tzedaka whether we are giving to a reputable organization/individual, or whether we are giving to a con artist who will use our funds for personal gain. The obligation to give is ours. The obligation for honesty is on those who are asking for the tzedaka. Hashem is the true judge and the dishonest schnorrers will be held accountable by the true judge at the end of their days. We will be accountable for how much charity we give or didn’t give.
Ahh…the wonders of Jewish guilt. Any time I don’t give or give grudgingly because I suspect I am giving to a disreputable person, I feel guilty. However, must I submit to being accosted in my own home - especially by someone who is being pushy and whose story doesn’t add up?
I feel like part of the disconnect is that there is a big cultural difference between Israelis and Americans. I have yet to have an American worker/deliveryman/service provider enter my home without being invited inside. In fact, even if they have appointments and are expected, most ring the bell, show some kind of identification, and ask if they can come inside even after I have opened the door. Meshulachim usually barge right in before being invited.
I suppose a person has to be pushy to collect money in this economy from strangers. However, there is no respect for personal space, no acknowledgment that they are an uninvited guest who might be coming at a bad time, and no understanding that someone might perceive a strange man shouldering his way into their home as a threat. Is it just me?
This June, Yeshivat Maharat will graduate it’s first class of female Orthodox religious leaders. A recent article in The Times of Israel profiles this all women’s yeshiva in New York’s upper west side. There will be three women in the graduating class, and one of them, Rachel Kohl Finegold, has already been hired at Congregation Shaar Hashomayim in Montreal as a new member of its pastoral staff. There are currently about fifteen students studying in the yeshiva.
The Times article goes on to explain that Maharat was founded in 2009 by Sara Hurwitz, who …”made a name for herself with her groundbreaking and controversial ordination by Hebrew Institute of Riverdale’s rabbi, Avi Weiss. She was ordained under the title “rabba,” the feminine declension of the Hebrew “rabbi.” Hurwitz started the school to pave the way for other women to become spiritual leaders, but this time, the students will be given the title “maharat,” which stands for “manhiga hilchatit ruchanit toranit” or halachic/spiritual leader.”
There is interest from many Modern Orthodox shuls across North America to hire these women to be part of heretofore male-only teams of spiritual synagogue leadership. The women in Yeshivat Maharat all identify themselves as Orthodox Jews. They do not expect to be counted as part of a minyan, act as a witness in a beit din, or receive an aliyah on the Torah. They do expect to provide spiritual guidance to congregants, teach religious classes, give dvar torahs (public speeches about the bible) during services, and act as halachic authorities to women on the laws of taharat mishpacha (family purity). Many of the students are themselves married women with children.
I personally think that it’s a wonderful concept and I admire these women who have the dedication, knowledge, and fortitude to pursue a profession that is both emtionally and intellectually demanding, as well as controversial. Bringing women into synagogue leadership roles within the framework of halacha, can only strengthen the participation and support of ritual life among women in the community. It’s also my opinion that female congregants would be much more likely to ask more questions pertaining to taharat mishpacha if they could speak to a woman rather than a male rabbi.
In general, I think that many women would find it easier to approach a female maharat about personal issues than they would a rabbi. A rabbi’s role often calls for him to be a counselor on life’s problems beyond questions of, “Is this chicken kosher?” While many men feel a close kesher (connection) with their rabbi and feel comfortable enough to pop in or call at all times, many women wind up speaking to the rabbi mainly through their husbands. I think that having a direct relationship with a female halachic authority would improve the frequency and dynamic of how women ask shailahs (religious questions).
Of course, the swish of skirts is getting close enough that the male halachically ordained keepers of the faith are feeling a chilly breeze. The all male orthodox rabbinical leadership from most sectors are not going to accept nor respect women in pulpit or religious leadership roles. A Moment Magazine article quotes two major orthodox religious councils as being staunchly opposed to Yeshivat Maharat and it’s would-be rabbas:
“Any congregation with a woman in a rabbinical position of any sort cannot be considered Orthodox,” proclaimed the 10-member Council of Torah Sages of Agudath Israel of America—deemed American ultra-Orthodoxy’s most authoritative rabbinic body—in a February public statement. Its director of public policy, Avi Shafran, was outraged: “Tznius [modesty] isn’t a mode of dress,” he said. “It includes the idea that women are demeaned and not honored when they’re put in the public eye and put on a pedestal. The position he [Weiss] has created violated the concept.” Whether or not the ordination violates a specific halacha [Jewish religious law] is unimportant, Shafran explained. “There is nothing in the Shulhan Aruch about keeping a cat in the aron kodesh [the holy ark in the synagogue]. It’s technically permitted, but it’s wrong to do.”
……..more centrist Orthodox voices were equally unforgiving. “The ordination of women as rabbis represents a serious and inappropriate breach with our sacred tradition and is beyond the pale of Orthodox Judaism,” said Steven Pruzansky, vice president of the Rabbinical Council of America (RCA), a 1,000-member group that claims to be “the largest Orthodox rabbinic organization in the world,” and rabbi of Congregation Bnai Yeshurun in Teaneck, New Jersey. He went even further on his blog, writing that the role of female clergy “not only mimics Reform, but in fact is a throwback to pagan ideologies.”
This controversy reminds me of a shiur I attended a few months ago that talked about the progression of women’s religious education in Judaism. The speaker referred to the origination of the Bais Yaakov educational movement for girls. To very briefly summarize the shiur, the Bais Yaakov system was a necessary evil, created in 1917 Poland, to prevent observant Jewish girls from being lured away by the wide availability of secular education for women. Previously, it was thought a dangerous and wasted effort to educate women beyond what they needed to know as Jewish wives and mothers. However, with so many emerging opportunities available to them, the Jewish community risked losing their daughters to the secular world if they didn’t compromise in a revolutionary way. Thus the Bais Yaakov movement was born.
I would suggest that we are in a time where a similar revolutionary compromise must be reached in the realm of halachic leadership and ritual participation. We have the framework of halacha in which a compromise can surely be found. I believe that girls and women growing up and living in Jewish Orthodox communities are at risk for assimilation if they are not given a voice. If women are not engaged in public spiritual life in a meaningful way, if they are not even the keepers of their own mitzvot, there is a threat to the very existence of klal yisrael. Judaism cannot exist without women, for we are the matriarchs and ultimate keepers of the faith.
I just read a fabulous article by Rabbi Eliyahu Fink entitled, Don’t Blame Women for Not Going to Shul. The article tries to explain why so many orthodox Jewish women do not attend shul on a regular basis. He talks about some of the reasons that men enjoy going to shul – the ability to participate and be called upon for honors, the socialization, the kiddush food, and the freedom from childcare during services.
Rabbi Fink goes on to say that women do not have any of the above incentives to attend synagogue. We are not obligated to daven with a minyan, we are never called upon to participate during services, we usually don’t have a regular chevra (group of friends) to socialize with because female attendance is so sporadic, the food at most shul kiddushes is usually cholent and kishke not sushi and salad, and childcare is a chronic issue for those mothers with very young children.
On top of that, we have articles and lectures that tell us that women’s special role is to daven to Hashem one on one – we don’t need the reinforcement of a public forum, but rather, our own homes will do just as well if not better. Rabbi Fink surmises that if roles were reversed, most men would not go to shul either.
Hadassah Levy writes another article on the subject entitled, Why Women Don’t Go to Shul. In the article, she links to other orthodox authors who have written on the subject of women feeling excluded in the male-centric world of public prayer. She summarizes that “Childcare, a later davening time and a more comfortable women’s section would certainly go a long way toward bringing more women to shul.”
When I think about my own connection to shul, I am reminded of the bar mitzvah speech that I gave for my oldest son at the family Friday night dinner. In the speech, I told my son that right after he was born, I looked at him and thought that I could never love him more than I did at that moment. When you hold your child in your arms for the first time, your heart fills up in a way that only another parent can understand.
However sincere my thoughts were during the first few minutes of my son’s life, they were wrong. I could and did love him more. With every diaper change, every bout of colic, every feeding, every burping, every bath, every clothing change, every cleanup….I loved him more. As he grew, the tasks of caring for him became more complicated and demanding – he needed more from me emotionally and intellectually. Being a mother is hard work…but in the doing is the loving. By his bar mitzvah, I knew enough to know that my love for him would continue to grow. Every obstacle, every triumph, every shared burden and success – all are the building bricks of loving a child.
For me, the same thing holds true in loving synagogue services. When you have no role, it is hard to have commitment. Where there is no work or effort put forth, there can be no love. Those admirable men who are committed to daily shul attendance have put in the blood, sweat, and tears to feel ownership and pride. The work they have put into their own tefillos and their spiritual institutions create a sense of love and loyalty. Women are shut out from that experience. Unless there is some meaningful way to include us as more than passive observers, orthodox shuls will continue to be men’s clubs, while women will be seeking out membership elsewhere or not at all.
Rabbi Michael Broyde might be the first catfish rabbi. For those unfamiliar, the term “catfish” was coined by a young man named Yaniv “Nev” Schulman, who made a 2010 documentary about his experience falling in love on Facebook with a fictitious young lady named, Megan. Nev was so taken in by the girl that wanted to meet her in real life. However, every time they came close to meeting, she had an excuse as to why she couldn’t. As his doubts compiled, Nev decided to film his journey to find Megan. When they finally met, Megan turned out to be Angela – a middle aged married woman with multiple online identities.
Angela’s husband, Vince, tells a story in the film. He says that when live cod were shipped to Asia from North America, the fish’s inactivity in their tanks resulted in only mushy flesh reaching the destination; but fishermen found that putting catfish in the tanks with the cod kept them active, and thus ensured the quality of the fish. Vince talks of how there are people in everyone’s lives who keep us active, always on our toes and always thinking. It is implied that he believes Angela to be such a person.
Nev Schulman has gone on to create an MTV series called, Catfish. The show profiles those who, like Nev, have been involved with people who created fake online identities. Apparently, there are quite a few people who spend their days creating personae online. It is quite complicated and requires pilfering other people’s photos, coming up with background stories, creating fake friends and colleagues for the false characters, obtaining multiple cell phone numbers for each characters, etc. Many of the imposters on the MTV show lead fairly solitary lives and prefer to live in their fake universe without thought to the damage they do. A famous Catfish case that was recently in the news featured Notre Dame linebacker, Manti Te’o.
Like a catfish, Rabbi Broyde certainly has everyone stirred up. Perhaps the orthodox community is late to the games played by insecure and lonely souls on social media sites. We have quickly caught up with this incident. It’s hard to know what kind of insecurities caused Rabbi Broyde to create false online identities praising and supporting his own scholarship and career. Certainly, he was already a well received personality in the orthodox world. However, despite Broyde’s rapid fall from grace, it can’t be denied that modern orthodox Judaism did lose a prominent figure. More specifically, modern orthodox women lost a prominent supporter.
Rabbi Broyde’s thoughtful analysis about the future of ordaining women into spiritual leadership roles was progressive, if not cautious. His endorsement of a pre-nuptial agreement for grooms to promise not to withhold a get showed his commitment to eliminate the plight of the agunah. Rabbi Broyde even tried to make an argument to free women from the bindings of their headcoverings in a controversialessay.
It remains to be seen whether or not Rabbi Broyde will recover from from his catfish controversy. It also remains to be seen if, without him, other prominent orthodox rabbis will step up where he has left off. Despite his online indiscretions, Rabbi Broyde is a man who has attempted to reconcile halacha with 21st century life. He is a man who has made efforts to ensure that contemporary orthodoxy maintains the integrity and dignity of Jewish women. It’s a shame that he could not maintain his own.
Photo by Hagai Fried in Haaretz-An employment fair for the Haredi community
I have always been befuddled by the kollel lifestyle. Growing up in a secular home, I was raised to believe that the husband was the breadwinner for the family. Even in my day, the idea was becoming outmoded, and the trend was that husbands and wives shared the burden of earning a living. However, my parents were an older generation than most of my friend’s parents, and this was how they were raised.
Even though I always knew I wanted to attend college and have a career, it was still ingrained in me that my husband would be the steady financial provider throughout our marriage. However, we have taken turns throughout our marriage for being the main breadwinner. In general, women make less money than men do. The first few years of our marriage, when my husband was still in school, were lean years indeed. Despite our initial hardships, we always looked forward to the day when my husband would graduate, and begin to earn a decent wage.
The kollel lifestyle is one where the husband is not expected to financially provide for his family. Rather, he will spiritually provide for them by sitting in a beis medrash and learning full time for the rest of his life. His wife’s parnassah (salary), parental assistance, and in some cases, government assistance will be expected to provide for the financial and material needs of the family. This way of life has become more popular as the orthodox community becomes more haredi. It creates a system of continuous poverty that necessitates these large families having to ask for tzedaka from their families, friends, communities, and the government.
Of course, there are superstars in the torah world who should be sitting and learning. Men who have an aptitude and interest in devoting their lives to torah study deserve the opportunity. However, not everyone is cut out to be a scholar. For those best suited for the workforce, they would receive more merit for providing for their families and giving tzedaka to others with their earnings, than hanging around the coffee urn and being a bench warmer.
As I said earlier, it is hard for me to understand why any woman would want to enter into this kind of marriage. The burden of child bearing, child rearing, homemaking, working, and bill paying is almost incomprehensible. There is a website that gave me some insight into the minds of young women in shidduchim who are looking for “learners.” The site is called aptly enough, In Shidduchim. It is a forum for girls in the same “parsha,” who are looking to get married.
The girls on the site seem so young and innocent. They seem to have seen so little of the world – particularly the world of men. They also seem to play such a passive role in the matchmaking game. It seems that the boys have so many dates to choose from, while the girls seem to have much fewer options. It seems there is a rush of girls lining up to support a kollel husband for life. The girls are relegated to sitting at home and hoping the shadchan calls with match. Sometimes the phone doesn’t ring for months.
Because the shidduch process moves so quickly, there is pressure to determine if they want to marry a boy after only one date. Marriage being such a monumental decision, girls are constantly doubting their own judgement. If they say no to another date with the boy because they didn’t feel a “spark,” it is entirely possible that they will have passed up their last opportunity for marriage. Boys don’t need to think that way, because there is always a healthy line of marital candidates in their dating queue.
Most of the girls on the In Shidduchim site are looking for kollel guys. Rich or poor, most of these girls want full time learners. They are fresh from seminaries that teach them that the greatest merit a woman can earn is to support a torah scholar. All the merit he earns, she will earn as well for being his aizer kenegdo (helpmate). Some of these girls have fathers who are kollel guys, but many have working fathers. They don’t know what it is to live in poverty with all the burden of supporting a family on your shoulders. The kollel life is a romantic fantasy of being in love with a talmud chachum, living in the heart of an ultra orthodox community with other young married kollel couples, and raising lots of Jewish babies – all on a teacher’s salary.
Young men and women are being indoctrinated at a fast pace that the kollel life is the only life for a torah true Jew. Even young men and women who grew up in working families are adopting this mindset. I think that Finance Minister Yair Lapid’s proposed “budget of hope” is not going to have the effect he anticipates if implemented. He believes that cuts in government spending will move Israel from a “culture of stipends to a culture of work.” He has no idea what he is up against.
If anything, Lapid’s plan will make those in the kollel movement dig their heels in even more. For them, this is a war on torah Judaism. They truly believe they are protecting the people of Israel as well as Jews everywhere with their learning – and maybe about 10% of them are. Most people have a hard time getting motivated to go to work in the morning when it is expected of them. If your wife, your parents, your friends, your neighbors, and your rabbi were all telling you shouldn’t even think about working a job, that it actually is a sin to work – would you be compelled to rebel?
Practically speaking, Lapid’s proposed budget cuts for child allowance programs are going to hurt the main haredi population who are working – the women! Without the child allowance subsidies, many women might not be able to afford childcare to go to work. These women, financially speaking, are like single mothers. Yes, some might have parental help, but as we are getting into second and third generations of kollel lifestyle families, previous generations are as broke as the next.
So many kollel wives are struggling with the herculean task of working while raising large families. It is the children and women who will suffer under these cutbacks. I don’t know of a way to “punish” the men into the workforce without punishing their wives and children too. All I do know, is that ultra orthodox women should not be lumped into the same category as their men. Women are workers, and it would be nice if Lapid made that distinction.
Tehiya Dayan (left) and Lior Halavi (second from left) accept awards for their aerospace project.
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Photo credit: Israel Hayom.com
Anytime I hear about ultra orthodox Jewish women who expand beyond the boundaries of societal expectations I get excited. I read with interest a recent article from Ynet news that talked about Tehiya Dayan and Lior Halavi, two ultra orthodox graduates from the Lustig Institute (or Machon Lustig) in Ramat Gan. The Lustig Insititute provides technological training to haredi women, many of whom will be married to men learning in kollel full time. As the sole financial providers for their families, they will be able to maintain a more secure and comfortable lifestyle through their higher education.
The American Embassy in Israel met with Dayan and Halavi because of an advanced chip they developed for the American defense industry. As part of the two students’ work with the Verisense company, they were required to develop a code that would simulate the activity of the chip, which would eventually be installed in a space vehicle, and ensure that it properly communicates with its surroundings.
In the article Lior Halavi explains, “All I can say is that it’s for a defense industry. We didn’t know much about what it was supposed to do either, as we naturally received very specific and focused data. It’s a very expensive development. Producing the chip and then discovering that it has problems would cause serious damage. Our development saved a lot of money.”
The American Embassy has a strong interest in getting more haredi women involved in high-tech fields. They plan to work with the Lustig Institute to assist students through mentoring and training.
Tehiya Dayan briefly touches on the controversial nature of haredi women working in secular professions that are largely dominated by men:
“Dayan, who is married and has a child, lives in the northern haredi community of Rechasim. The long way she made from the local Beit Yaakov high-school to the defense industry is a very unusual sight in the local landscape.
“I really don’t understand what the fuss is all about,” she says modestly. “I am very happy with what we did. I also received many warm regards from residents who are very proud of us. Naturally, there are also those who are not.
“There is now a very strong trend of haredi girls integrating into high-tech. Personally, I am rather exceptional because I went to study it academically, and in Lustig of all places, which is considered modern compared to the background I come from. And yet, it is definitely unacceptable working in a clear secular or security-related environment.”
If ultra orthodox women are going to be placed into the roles of bread winners, than they need to have the education and job experience necessary to support large families. Machon Lustig has an educational environment that will enhance and collaborate with the principles of their ultra-orthodox upbringing. I commend the staff, graduates, and current students of Machon Lustig and wish them every success in the future. I hope in the near future similar programs sprout up to offer haredi women even more lucrative career choices in environments that cater to their comfort.
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The hasidic Alt Rock Girl Band out of Crown Heights, Brooklyn. Their music is inspired by the likes of Radiohead, the White Stripes, the Red Hot Chili Peppers and Jane’s Addiction. The band’s name, “Bulletproof stockings” is a reference to the thick, opaque hosiery traditionally worn by hasidic women. The band is made up of four women – Perl Wolfe on Lead Vocals and Piano, Dalia G. Shusterman on Drums and Vocals, and Laura Kegles/Elisheva Maister who both play the Cello. Their Facebook page gives a brief history of the group:
“Perl Wolfe and Dalia G. Shusterman met on a rainy night in Crown Heights, Brooklyn, in December of 2011. Perl played her songs, and Dalia knew just what to do, like she had heard them before in another lifetime. The connection was made, and Bulletproof Stockings was formed. They recorded their first single “Frigid City,” and played their first show at “In The Glow,” a benefit concert at Lubavitcher Yeshiva for a local school, less than one month after meeting. In March 2012, they recorded and released their first EP album “Down to the Top.” They’ve since played many shows all around New York, and recently played their first show in Los Angeles.”
A Times of Israel article and a New York Post article give background on the two founding band members, Perl Wolfe and Dalia Shusterman. By day, Shusterman, in her mid-30s, is a part-time graphic designer and recently widowed mother of four young boys between the ages of two and eight. Wolfe, a 26-year-old divorcée, is a makeup artist who manages a cosmetics store in Boro Park that caters mainly to hasidic women.
The two are committed to performing for women only audiences. In addition to following the laws of kol isha, a rabbinic prohibition which prohibits Jewish men from hearing women sing, Wolfe posits that, “Women will party and rock out in a completely different way when there’s nobody there but women,”
Critics are saying that the band does not try hard enough not to attract a male audience. Many of the listeners purchasing their four-track EP “Down to the Top.” are men. They are currently number 12 on the ReverbNation Alternative charts for Brooklyn, NY. Critics came out of the woodwork after a photo montage of the women posing in front of the Lubavitch Chabad headquarters appeared on CrownHeights.info:
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In the blog article, Shusterman said:
“The deal is that it’s not a women’s mitzvah not to play,” explained Shusterman, using a term for a religious commandment. Her speech, in English, is riddled with Hebrew and Yiddish terms. “It’s a man’s mitzvah not to listen. Anyone who knows halacha [Jewish law] will tell you this. There are plenty of frum [religious] women putting their music out, and YouTube and Amazon and iTunes are the media for getting it out there. And especially for parnasa [income], it’s not even a question.”
“We could sing in the middle of the street and all the men would have to leave. But for the sake of ahavat yisrael [love of fellow Jews], we don’t make issues for people,” Wolfe said.
“Where we draw our line is who we will perform live for,” Shusterman said. “We are not going to put men in a position where they have to listen to us.”
But they are more interested in the flip side of the gender equation. “We are creating a forum where women can freely express themselves without having the male input and presence,” Shusterman said.”
Some of the negative reader comments are below -
“I need to throw up. First of all, why is there a picture like this on a public website?! secondly, WHERE IS CHABAD GOING?!? UGH. Not what I want my family involved in. I am all for niggunim and inspirational music, but this definitely needs to be promoted differently.”
Another commenter wrote – “hello? is this an impression u want to give? whats the point! not impressed at all…. ;(“
Yet another commenter wrote – “Sadly its the women who have been dragging the name of Lubavitch throu the gutters, there is nothing good about your music or about you and why do you need to go to radio head and other such people to get your inspiration Whats wrong with the rebbe and rabbi akiva ager and the bal shem tov…Your truly nothing but a failur.”
“Last time i checked “chabad” is detirmined by the rebbe. I don’t belive the rebbe would approve of women making a rock band modeled after goyishe singers. I am 100% sure the rebbe would not approve putting such pictures online as it is not in the spirit of orthodox judiasim and for sure not in the spirit of chabad which as the rebbe said is frumkiet plus. People have confused chabad’s kiruv work with the way a lubavitcher should be. Now before getting upset think what the rebbe would say. And base your opinion on what the rebbe actually said (look in sichos and igros kodesh) not what you think the rebbe meant.”
“I see in Mishpacha magazine, that rarely will you see pictures of women. Why here, for all the men to see, a picture of 2 very attractive women? Where oh where is the bottom line.”
There are 65 comments on the CrownHeights.info article, some positive and many negative. What seemed to bother people the most was the pictures that were shown of the women. From the reactions, you would have thought it was a Sports Illustrated Swimsuit edition!
I think that these women are doing very important work. We have far too few orthodox Jewish female musicians. These women are an inspiration to girls interested in pursuing musical careers or even playing as a hobby. Bulletproof Stockings does have a tough path ahead of them It is very difficult to garner a steady following when Jewish radio stations won’t play and promote your music, Jewish music websites won’t promote female musicians, and only women buy your music and concert tickets.
Additionally, the financial viability of the music industry has imploded for even the most popular secular musicians due to illegal downloading of albums and singles. Even male hasidic superstars like Mordechai Ben David, who is listened to by men and women all over the world, have been hit hard. Mordechai Ben David stated that illegal CD burning and internet downloads were ruining the industry and making albums financially non profitable.
It doesn’t surprise me that Bulletproof Stockings have so many secular artists as their influence. Speaking as a woman, there are very few places to get female musical inspiration in the frum community. Women who love to sing or play instruments have to rely mainly on secular role models. The closest we get to hearing soprano or female alto ranges is The Miami Boys Choir. I always found it kind of creepy that male musicians must use young boys for what would normally be female parts in songs. Bulletproof Stockings is changing all that. I wish them continued success.
Image may be NSFW.
