An article caught my attention today in The Daily Mail. It is a photo essay of the wedding of a young haredi couple in Jerusalem’s Mea Shearim neighborhood. There are many lovely pictures in the article, but two that caught my attention were of young boys smoking cigarettes during the celebration. The photos and captions are as follows -
The celebrations include young ultra-Orthodox Jewish boys wearing traditional headgear and smoking cigarettes during the celebrations.
Although it may seem strange and dangerous to modern eyes, it is perfectly normal for young boys to celebrate the same way as their fathers, including having a cigarette.
The images of children smoking cigarettes, even in the context of a rare “privilege” for a special occasion, is shocking. The photos made me think of a tangential issue I was pondering on Shabbos. The issue is that of acceptable vices in the frum community. One of the photo captions touches upon the fact that there are haredi fathers who smoke, so naturally their sons would want to emulate them.
Taking into account that this wedding took place in Israel where it is more culturally acceptable to smoke than in the United States, still, one would think that cigarette smoking is an issue of pekuach nefesh (saving a life). We are not allowed to engage in activities that endanger our lives for no good purpose. Therefore, why would it be socially acceptable for haredim to smoke? It doesn’t seem like a “kosher” habit. Yet, here we see that smoking is considered so harmless, that even young boys are permitted to indulge on occasion.
I was thinking about acceptable vices this Shabbos while reading The Rabbi’s Daughter, a memoir by Reva Mann. At one point in her book, Ms. Mann talks about her stint in a religious baalas teshuva seminary, where the women are served copious amounts of food and drink. She laments the pounds she has put on, but also makes the connection that for these former women of the world, food has replaced sex in their lives. When they are feeling physical longings, they now turn to food for comfort instead of men.
I also remember this sentiment being expressed in the book Tradition in a Rootless World: Women Turn to Orthodox Judaism. This was a case study about the baalas teshuva seminary, Bais Chana, in Minnesota. The phenomenon of weight gain among the women was noted as having connection to their sudden celibacy. Food was central to the women for rewards, comfort, and celebration. Treats were a frequent occurrence on campus and waist lines rapidly expanded upon admission.
I’ve seen shows where people who have beaten one addiction turn to another to take its place without realizing it. Someone who conquered a gambling addiction turns to drugs. Another who fought a food addiction turns to compulsive shopping. It seems that most of us need some kind of vice to turn to, but in the orthodox world, there are more limitations on what is socially acceptable.
I’ve given examples of two vices that frum people can get away with that are considered acceptable within the social framework of orthodoxy. I suppose compulsive spending habits could be justified (easier to hide as a problem) as well. Gambling is another realm that frum folks can openly engage in within reason; such as in the forms of Chinese auctions for charity or playing the stock market. It’s interesting to consider what types of socially acceptable vices Orthodox people engage in that take the place of other publicly frowned upon behaviors.
