I have to giggle now at this piece I wrote in 2007. At the time, I had a 2 year old, so being pregnant and being judged for being pregnant was still fresh in my mind. My youngest is 8 years old now, so it’s been a minute since I have dealt with this issue. However, my umbrage at critical remarks I received regarding my fertility showcase the stereotyping I felt as the “barefoot and pregnant” oppressed Jewish orthodox house frau. It reminds me that I have been on both sides of the fence when it comes to haredi bashing. Although I don’t view myself as haredi, folks who wouldn’t know a matza ball from a wrecking ball do. Like it or not, I have more in common to the outside world with the ultra orthodox community than with the secular community. This alone should inspire a sense of solidarity and an attempt at mutual understanding.
She’s ALWAYS Pregnant…
So, I was having a conversation with a frum and married friend, who also happens to work as a receptionist in Mr. Frumhouse’s office. She is pregnant. VERY pregnant.
She was sitting at her desk when a woman came in and started making conversation with her. The woman asked my friend if she was Mr. Frumhouse’s wife. She replied that she wasn’t. The woman then responded, “Oh, I thought you were his wife because she is ALWAYS pregnant!”
What the @&#%??!!
I should say that Mr. Frumhouse works in an environment where there is a very large secular Jewish population. I suppose if one ventures beyond the 2.5 kids, your status upgrades to ALWAYS pregnant.
I have another story that happened to me many years ago when, for about 3 years, I really was ALWAYS pregnant. I was sitting in the waiting room at my obstetrician’s office, pregnant with my 3rd and with 2 other very small children in tow.
As I sat in the waiting room, a drug rep (you know the type – skinny, blond, and wheeling a cutesy little piece of luggage with all her wares behind her) came out of the doctor’s office shmoozing with the nurse as she headed out the door. As she passed by me with my kids and obviously pregnant belly, she commented to the nurse “Looks like SHE could have used some of my samples!” (birth control pills)
Again, what the %$#&??!! Hello, I can HEAR you!
Do any of you moms with large families hear rude comments about being pregnant or the size of your family? For that matter, do any of you moms who have smaller families get comments from people assuming you have (or will have) huge families by virtue of the sheitle or tichel on your head – “She’s orthodox, she must have a million kids!”
Post a comment and tell me about it!
