I was watching a BBC Channel 4 Dispatches episode called, Britain’s Hidden Child Abuse. One of the segments of the show featured an undercover abuse survivor secretly taping a meeting with Rabbi Ephraim Padwa, head of the Haredi Union of Hebrew Orthodox Congregations (UHOC), who discourages him from reporting abuse to the police. He says that it is forbidden to report abuse to the police because it is mesirah, and anyone who does so is a moser (informant).
Recently in the orthodox world, there have been scandals widely publicized in the secular press. As social media activism becomes more common, informants are not only victims who wish to press charges, but also concerned citizens who wish to publicize such abuse. The practice of informing law enforcement, politicians, and general society about injustices that have heretofore been kept hidden from the public eye, has now fallen to third party advocates. Mesirah is no longer an activity contained to the parties directly involved in the crime/abuse. Concerned citizens are taking on the role of moser proudly, if it means ending the abuse being perpetrated by deviant members of their communities.
One such recent case is the widely publicized story of agunah, Gital Dodelson. Dodelson hired self-described social agitator, Shira Dicker, to take her plight to the public. A guest blogger on Daas Torah, Kat Shel Beryonim, asks why gedolim are not publicly condemning Dodelson’s decision to present her predicament to the media. In fact, Kat Shel Beryonim has his own blog asking gedolim to put Gital Dodelson in cheirim (shunning) for going to the press with her story. He writes on Daas Torah -
“The stakes are now much higher then just Dodelson vs Weiss. It is a question as to whether the Chareidi world will bow to pressure from folks who clearly do not have our best interests in mind. I honestly believe that even if Avraham Meir was wrong it is assur for him to give a get. Doing so would create a tremendous chillul hashem and further erode faith in our gedolim and the beis din system. Now every yid who has a complaint about his neighbor will now go to the press which will eagerly lap up the story of those archaic Orthodox Jews, and they will say if she can do it why can’t I. Why is she any better then other people whom were wronged and were told to hush up for the sake of the community, and that it would cause to big of a chilul hashem?”
His argument is that if countless other victims had to shut up and suck it up about abuse they suffered, Gital, and anyone else thinking of turning to the press, should have to suck it up too. I think the answer is that no one should have to remain silent while their abuse continues and their abusers walk free. Neither Gital, nor any other Jew, should have to remain silent because they were told that informing on a fellow Jew is a bigger sin than not giving a get or sexually violating a minor.
Frum incest survivor and blogger, Genendy Eisgrau, published a letter she received from a woman in her community -
“…what am I to think/do? All of the Rabbonim in Baltimore are supporting your father and send their children to TI. When my husband and I did research and spoke to some local Rabbonim regarding this issue, everyone was on the same page. So what exactly do your recommend? What would you do in my shoes? Believe the words of an “estranged” daughter who da’as Torah has said to ignore, or follow the words of our Rabbonim? In my own opinion your words may sound real, but how am I to choose you over daas Torah? I’m not a fan of blind faith, but the essence of my Judaism is hinged on mesorah and following the words of our gedolim. Without a firm belief in psak and the rulings of daas Torah, we’d be even more lost than we are today! Every single Rav I spoke to, both in Baltimore and out, agreed that your words should not get in the way of sending my son to TI. I even went so far as to ask some very detailed and specific questions regarding the safety of my child, and the answers I received were reassuring.
So please tell me, my dear Genendy, what would you do in my situation? Do I listen to the guidance I was given, or Ignore all of daas Torah, and listen to the words of some random stranger’s blog who says that TI is not a safe place to be??”
Genendy’s response -
“My own personal view of what da’as Torah is, and how it applies in this, and any situation has changed dramatically from my family’s, and is actually shared by many frum Torah Jews including those who many consider our real “Gedolim”.
In Perkai Avos it is written, “Asai Lecha Rav” “Make” for yourself a rav. As a community we MAKE our leaders. We CHOOSE them. We GIVE them the power to decide about things that are important to us.
If we choose leaders for ourselves that can not lead us properly than we WILL be misled, and it is OUR responsibility because we GAVE them this power. Some in the frum community allow others to choose their rav for them, or they choose a rav who is incompetent to advise them, and then if someone is hurt, be it another person, or even themselves or their child, they deny all responsibility by quoting, “da’as Torah.”
This attitude is taking the concept of da’as Torah in a very unhealthy and corrupt direction. It is using da’as Torah to avoid responsibility for our choices and our decisions.”
Information changes us. We can’t unsee something we have seen. We can’t unhear something we have heard. We can’t erase information that’s been imparted. Receiving information comes with a responsibility. That responsibility is to form conclusions based on the information we have been given, and act upon those conclusions accordingly – whether by actions or inaction. Until now, rabbinic leaders were privy to information about heinous occurrences within the community. They decided to take action or not, based on the information they had been given. Communities trusted their leaders to make these decisions for them – they didn’t need to know the details. In cases of child abuse, the rate of recidivism is high -
“Some people claim that child abusers can’t be cured and invariably reoffend. Others suggest that recidivism rates are low and that sex offenders are less likely to reoffend than those who commit other types of crimes. What is the truth?
Overall, follow-up studies typically find sexual recidivism rates of 10%-15% after five years, 20% after 10 years, and 30%-40% after 20 years (see, Hanson, Morton, & Harris, 2003).
However, these numbers are conservative because not all offences are detected.
In fact, a careful review of the scientific and legal literature shows that determining true recidivism rates are next to impossible as recidivism rates only count the number of sex offenders released into the community who are caught and convicted.
The vast majority of sex offenses are never reported.”
Because abusers were thought to be manageable by rabbinic leadership, it was a shock when the accused became repeat offenders. Unfortunately, the embarrassment of being brought before a tribunal and any subsequent social sanctions (stay away from mikvah, shul, schools, any public area where there are children) are not enough to deter a pedophile from his purpose. Additionally, because the privacy of the abusers is a priority, people in the community are often unaware that there is a predator in their midst.
When online activists and bloggers started reporting stories of abuse within the community, it was the first time that many lay people became aware of these situations. For the first time, the orthodox public had information that previously had only been granted to an exclusive group. The effects have been mind blowing for people like the Baltimore mother who wrote to incest survivor, Genendy Eisgrau. Who do we follow, daas torah or random bloggers telling us of these horrible shandahs (disgraces)?
At the end of the day, what role do I have as a blogger, to report on such injustices? Do I have an obligation to check out the facts before commenting on a situation? Am I guilty of mesirah if I wasn’t the first one to bring the situation to light – but I am merely discussing what has already been written? If I know of a situation that hasn’t yet been publicized, am I allowed to be the first one to report the facts as I know them? I think intention is everything. If the purpose of writing a piece is to protect the public by making a situation known, then can’t it be considered pikuach nefesh (in the most extreme case)? If the purpose of writing a piece is because the writer has a personal grudge against the parties involved, of course the information will be suspect. How is the reader to know about ulterior motives that a writer may have?
Online information about abuse happening in Jewish orthodox society isn’t going to disappear. In fact, information on abuse within the frum world will only grow more prolific as people scramble to add their voice to the mix. Additional online arenas will be created for those voices to be heard. Our job is to become more sophisticated information connoisseurs. We must not take what we read, as bloggers or as concerned citizens, at face value. We have the obligation of due diligence to determine whether or not a story is credible. Mesirah might be a life saving endeavor in today’s world. The meaning of the word moser is evolving and changing – both in who is or isn’t a moser, and in whether or not the label is shameful or heroic.
