Some of the wording in the Meisels class action lawsuit to recoup tuition and deposit fees stood out at me:
“34. The role of the seminary is particularly important for Orthodox Jewish girls because it profoundly shapes and influences their marriage prospects within a quasi arranged marriage system known as the Shidduch (translated literally as Introduction) system.
35. This influence is so important that it causes Orthodox Jewish parents to save money for years in hopes of being able to afford the annual tuition that regularly exceeds twenty thousand dollars ($20,000.00). In the case of Defendant Binas Bais
Yaakov Seminary, tuition for the 2014-2015 academic year was twenty one thousand five hundred dollars ($21,500.00). The other seminaries discussed herein had similar tuition rates.
47. Moreover, upon information and belief, Defendant Meisels would threaten his victims that if they shared their story with anyone, he would draw on his vast contacts within the Shidduch system to ruin their reputations and ensure that no
viable candidate would want to take their hand in marriage.“
I don’t have a girl in the seminary “parsha” yet, but I do have a boy who is going to an Israeli yeshiva in 2 weeks. The decision about where to send him had everything to do with the level of Torah learning at the school, the hashkafic outlook, plus the warmth and inclusiveness of the rabbaim, students, and surrounding community.
We started seriously thinking about which yeshiva would be best for our son during his junior year of high school. We started contacting yeshivot and arranging interviews for our son during his senior year. While there were other factors to consider besides the three main conditions I listed above, one thing I can say with certainty is that which school would look best on his shidduch resume never once factored into our decision. In speaking extensively with other parents who were also deciding where their sons would be going, none of them ever expressed that shidduch considerations were a factor in their decisions either.
I always thought that the seminary year for girls worked the same way that it did for boys. Seminary is a time to engage in higher learning Torah studies, a chance to immerse in the land and culture of Israel, and an opportunity for independence and self discovery. I had no idea that the main purpose for seminary was to be able to tick off an item on a shidduch resume checklist. Even reading this excerpt from the Pninim Seminary acceptance letter gives me pause:
“We are proud to welcome you to this class and are confident that the year spent with us will be one of growth and fulfillment as you join with the finest Daughters of Israel (translated from Hebrew) to create goals and memories for years to come. Your choice of our seminary ensures staff as you prepare to build homes and lives that reflect the centrality of Torah.“
Is there any mention of rigorous academic studies and in-depth learning? Are these seminaries merely home economics courses taught thousands of miles away at 21K a pop?
I also was interested to note the dress code published for prospective students:
“43. Another example is the strict dress code that was published to prospective students via email on or around April 9, 2014. This dress code included bans on “tight fitting clothing,” denim fabric, pants of any kind, and of skirts that were below a certain length. The dress code also required students to “dress in a modest and conservative manner, and [to] present a refined appearance.“
I found it ironic that the girls’ seminaries place such an emphasis on the dress code, while we are shopping for my son to go to Israel in two weeks, and still haven’t received a dress code standard from his school (not that I’m complaining, but it seems there isn’t one).
I am wondering what the purpose for sending girls to seminary in Israel is, besides for shidduch purposes? Is there any real learning going on in these schools? Is there a point to placing our daughters in a potential safety risk far from home, spending over $20,000, and having them come away with little more Torah learning than they arrived with?
