My family had an interesting discussion on Shabbos this week. We were talking about a recent phrase that has become popular when talking about shidduchim. It goes something like this:
“Mazel tov! Did you hear that Shira and Dov got engaged?”
“How wonderful! So, nu? Who is this young man?”
“He’s amazing! One of the top learners in his yeshiva and such a baal middos. He comes from a chashuva family.”
“So, Shira is planning on working and Dov is planning on learning? Nice! Does Dov have a plan beyond yeshiva? You know, for when, im yirtza Hashem, children come along?”
“Cell phones have plans. People don’t have plans.”
This remark about cell phone plans is meant to denigrate the concept of planning for your future. Planning indicates a lack of bitachon, and quite frankly, planning calls into question your overall emunah. Anyone who has true faith and wants to live according to the tenets of Torah (kollel for husbands, working for wives), will be provided for by Hashem. We should never think that we run the world, and by having a plan, we are doing just that.
What we debated over was the concept of hishtadlus; our obligation to make an effort on our own behalf in addition to asking Hashem for help. After all, we are also taught “ein somchim al haness” (do not expect or rely on a miracle).
Rabbi Yosef Gavriel Bechhofer quotes Rabbi Eliyahu Dessler on this subject of hishtadlus:
“ (Dessler) explains how one must balance one’s personal efforts and exertions vs. his trust in Hashem. If your emunah is strong, you are able to discern the spiritual trends that are active in the world, in what direction they are propelling the world, and you within it, and accordingly to direct your own efforts. The goal is to know and be conscious of a basic principle of Bitachon: That any exertion or effort that is not motivated by spiritual aspirations — an exertion or effort that is motivated by materialistic aspirations — clashes with emunah.
Admittedly, concedes Rav Dessler, the balance between legitimate and necessary Hishtadlus — your quest for resources that are required so as to fulfull your spiritual aspirations and their needs; and illegitimate and unnecessary Hishtadlus — your quest for resources that you desire so as to fulfill your materialistic aspirations and their prerequisites — is very fine. Much prayer, and much divine aid, are required to attain that balance.”
In the case of the cell phone plan scenario, it seems that we are talking about planning for basic necessities and not over the top materialistic aspirations. In my opinion, the problem with allowing young couples not to have a plan is that it depends upon someone else having a plan. That someone else is usually a parent, grandparent, another philanthropic benefactor, or even the government. Someone has to have a practical plan to support young couples, so that they don’t have to have one. Those marrying without a practical plan for their long term support will find themselves hard pressed to offer the same luxury to their own children in 20 years. There will be no planners to turn to anymore.
To be fair, this same concept of plans being useless is not only an ultra orthodox concept. The Yiddish axiom, “Man plans and God laughs,” is popular among Jews and non-Jews alike. “Let Go and Let God,” is another commonly used phrase to emphasize faith in Hashem’s ability to guide our lives without our input. Even The Beatles got into this concept of life taking unexpected turns despite planning, in their song Beautiful Boy, which quotes Allen Saunders, “Life is what happens to you while you’re busy making other plans.”
Where is the fine line drawn between building goals and steering yourself in a solid direction to reach them and allowing the river of life to float you toward whichever bank Hashem deems best?
