Despite my years of on and off blogging, I am still a relative amateur in the area of social media relations and communication. The fallout from my recent posts has really caught me off guard and made me question how to proceed in the future without compromising my intellectual, emotional, and religious integrity. What I am trying to wrap my head around, is how something I addressed in order to stop hateful speech from being spread in my community has inspired so much hateful speech both online and offline. While I want to protect my right to voice my opinion, I also want to protect the rights of those I might critique from being criticized beyond the content of their language or ideas – tangible concepts I believe I can fairly oppose without denouncing the person.
I remembered a story that my husband told me many years ago, and I hope he forgives me if I get some of the details wrong.
My husband has a best friend who used to live the next block over from us when we were first married. They had a regular chavrusah together several times a week. These are two men who love nothing better than a good intellectual debate, especially over a piece of Gemara. One day they were having a rather loud discussion at the friend’s apartment. That’s probably putting it mildly. I can only imagine the loud voices, the gesticulating, the thumb dipping, the – dare I say – wild shuckling (that’s probably taking it too far) that took place.
The friend’s wife walked into the room just as my husband was delivering his crowning argument and interrupted. She had finally had enough of the disrespect and yelling happening between the two men. She was putting her foot down and felt that if they couldn’t get along, they should stop learning together. My husband and his friend looked at each other and burst out laughing! They assured her that they weren’t angry, and in fact, loved nothing more than these kinds of debates and disagreements. There was most assuredly mutual respect on both sides. For her part, it was an “Alrighty then!” moment, as she left the room smiling and shaking her head incredulously (well, I’m imagining that part).
While the situation that has inspired such vitriol didn’t happen in the context of an intellectual debate, that is the spirit in which I conveyed my opposition. I retain my right to oppose ideas and language, but that doesn’t necessarily mean I am opposed to the person. I have no basis for such opposition. I can be diametrically opposed to someone’s positions on certain matters, yet outside of those debates, still have respect for them as a human being.
Image may be NSFW.
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Image may be NSFW.Clik here to view.
