and to the derech for which they stand,
one nation, under God,
with strict gender roles and halachot for all.
Some readers said that they weren’t quite clear on the point I was trying to make in yesterday’s post, so this is a follow up to provide some clarification.
My premise is that advancements and innovations that are taking place in more liberal segments of modern orthodoxy, might actually result in setbacks for the centrist and right wing modern orthodox crowds, whose leadership reject the break from mesorah or tradition that they see happening in the Open Orthodox and Orthodox Feminist movements.
The rejection of feminism as proof of affiliation to a more traditional mindset is already a common theme among many women in right wing modern orthodox circles. In lectures I’ve attended where the theme of the talk is very pro-woman or female empowering, the lecturer often starts out with the disclaimer that she is not a feminist, nor is she about promoting feminist ideals. The disclaimer is usually accompanied with a smile, and the female audience usually smiles and nods back in understanding that one can discuss all the ways in which women are accomplished and wonderful, while not ascribing to a political feminist movement – nor is it appropriate for a bas yisroel to identify with a secular women’s movement that doesn’t seek to espouse the Torah family ideals we strive to achieve.
Also, whenever public accolades are given to women, the language used is always very careful. Jewish female historical figures or modern day feminine heroes are often referred to in the context of “role model,” “pioneer,” “visionary,” “extremely knowledgeable,” or possibly “adviser.” Any terms such as “leader,” “authority,” or even “scholar” are usually not used when discussing women. There is a delicate balance between honoring a woman who has essentially proven herself to be a leader and a scholar (this is usually in the realm of women’s education), but being careful not to equate her with great rabbinic scholars or cast her in the light of a spiritual leader or halachic authority.
Even women who are earning advanced certification as taharat hamishpacha advisers have their own self-imposed/rabbinically-imposed limitations. Meaning, from a paskening standpoint, these advisers act as a go between for the woman and the rabbi. The advisers might be allowed to answer general questions, but when it comes to specific situations, the rabbi is always the final authority and must be consulted.
The benefit of these ladies is that they provide an added layer of comfort and privacy for women who don’t want to directly speak with the rabbi, and whose husbands might also feel embarrassed to speak directly with the rabbi on their wife’s behalf. Basically, many of the women-run taharat hamishpacha hotlines take over the husband’s job. When it comes to the niddah shailahs, the husband can be taken out of the equation, and the female advisers will assist the woman and become her spokesperson to the rabbi. Most of these services make it very clear that their purpose is simply to assist women in making it easier and less intimidating/embarrassing to ask intimate questions to the rabbi.
For example, a popular women-run resource, the Nishmat website, has this disclaimer concerning the halachic and medical advice dispensed on its website –
“This internet service does not preclude, override or replace the psak of any rabbinical authority. It is the responsibility of the questioner to inform us of any previous consultation or ruling. As even slight variation in circumstances may have Halachic consequences, views expressed concerning one case may not be applied to other, seemingly similar cases. All health and health-related information contained within Nishmat’s Women’s Health & Halacha Web site is intended to be general in nature and should not be used as a substitute for consulting with your health care professional. The advice is intended to offer a basis for individuals to discuss their medical condition with their health care provider but not individual advice. Although every effort is made to ensure that the material within Nishmat’s Women’s Health & Halacha Web site is accurate and timely, it is provided for the convenience of the Web site user but should not be considered official. Advice for actual medical practice should be obtained from a licensed health care professional.”
The women who must be the most careful with their language and deference to male authority are the ones who are the most learned and respected. It’s not the run-of-the-mill women in the community who pose a threat to the current establishment, but the women who are the most revered and admired for their Torah scholarship and personal spirituality. As representatives of female Jewish leadership, they are the ones who must set the tone for their students and other women in the community. They are the soldiers on the front line who show women the proper order of ranking in the community, starting with themselves.
These are the women who must display a level of humility and adherence to the God-given glass ceiling of Torah learning and spiritual leadership that no man has ever had to face. These are the women who must walk the tightrope of achievement in Torah excellence, while deferring to the male scholars who will always outrank them. If they want to be allowed to continue their good work, they must continually show the community leadership and their own students that no matter how great the woman, she must always consult with someone greater for the final opinion. The superstars must downplay their own significance. In fact, such humility is coined as modesty and tzniut – one of the highest compliments you can pay a frum woman.
Women in more centrist and right wing communities are going to have to prove by their language and behavior that they don’t agree with radical feminism; they will have to prove that they are not a threat to the existing establishment if they want to be accepted and belong. Women in these communities will have to express that they have no desire to be counted in a minyan, wear tefillin, or be part of any egalitarian prayer groups. Even dancing with the Torah on Simchat Torah is something that an aidel woman wouldn’t ask for nor demand. Displaying contentment to be on the sidelines during shul services, but at the forefront during kiddush set-up is one way to show acceptance of the status quo.
I’m not suggesting that the Open Orthodox or Orthodox Feminist movements should squash their goals because of the negative repercussions they might have on surrounding communities. I am simply looking at their advancements from the perspective of Newton’s 3rd law of motion, that for every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction. For those who are intent on curbing the threat of feminism within the modern orthodox world, whatever progress is made in the name of feminism, so too will new limitations be set forth in the name of Torah.
