I saw a recent Facebook post about a group of women in LA who all banded together and refused to go to the mikvah until a recalcitrant husband agreed to give his wife a get (Jewish divorce). Apparently, their strong-arming technique worked, as the men of the community pressured the stubborn husband to give the get in short order.
Stories such as the one above have become the stuff of myth and legend in the frum community. Although there are hushed whisperings of women banding together and refusing to sleep with their own husbands until their sister-from-another-mister is unchained, no one can give any specifics as to who, what, where, or when these private protests actually occur.
Predictably, when this sort of agunah solution is proposed, people cry that it’s assur to use sex as a weapon. Additionally, why should one couple’s shalom bayis problem become an entire community’s shalom bayis problem?
The question is, why isn’t it ok for women to use sex as a weapon, by withholding her favors until she receives a desired outcome, yet it’s fine and even halachically sanctioned for men to use sex as a weapon? That’s right, by withholding a get, the husband is ensuring that his wife will never be allowed to have sex again – unless of course, it’s with him. However, he can get his freak on with whomever strikes his fancy – even to the point of getting remarried under the release of a Heter Meah Rabbanim.
Withholding a get is the ultimate example of using sex as a weapon, so isn’t fighting fire with fire fair play? I have no further details about the LA story, but if it is true, I wonder if the successful protest has the men of Los Angeles rethinking their future divorce tactics?
