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For many female baal teshuvas (BTs), how women are treated in Jewish orthodox society can be a sticking point. At the end of the day, I can’t honestly say that I found an explanation that fully satisfied my (then) 20th century sensibilities. However, there were a few explanations that pacified my main objections, or perhaps they were deflective non-answers that helped me to circumvent the troublesome realities and avoid delving deeper?
The first common explanation given about women’s roles in orthodox Judaism is that women are different but equal. Women have different obligations than men, but their roles are no less important. In fact, some might argue that, as the gender who carries the next generation of the Jewish people, women are even more important than men.
Additionally, some say that Hashem created the universe in the order of least to most complex. I’ve also heard that Hashem created the world in the order of that which is spiritually closest to His divine nature. Women, as the last of Hashem’s creations, are the most complex and spiritually attuned with God.
Another explanation on the important role of women in orthodox society is that within Jewish culture, the role of the synagogue (which is the men’s domain) pales in comparison to the role of the home (which is the women’s domain). While it is true that women have no ritualistic roles in orthodox Jewish temple services, they rule the roost at home.
My own observation is that in the 21st century, religious leadership (made up of rabbis/men) is starting to trickle into our homes to an unprecedented degree. Whereas in the past, mothers and wives made the daily decisions regarding their children’s upbringing, their marriages, how they ran their households, and how they conducted themselves – those decisions are now being taken over by “Da’as Torah” (the knowledge of Torah). Whatever informal or unspoken authority women have heretofore enjoyed is being taken away.
I believe that this growing loss of control over the home and private realm is the reason why more women are feeling dissatisfaction with their roles in Judaism. Now, personal decisions about what constitutes tznius clothing, or whether or not a family can own smartphones, or which school is best for a child, or what type of kippah their son can wear, or whether or not they can use fresh vegetables vs. only frozen Bodek – all decisions ranging from the mundane to significant are being put into the hands of gedolim (highest level of rabbinic leadership).
If the decisions aren’t coming directly from the lips of the gedolim, they are being filtered down through their representatives – pulpit rabbis, school principals, teachers, mashgiach or mashipiah ruchanim (spiritual advisors for yeshiva or seminary students).
All this is to say that the authority of mothers and wives is slowly being diminished and replaced by communal authority figures acting in the name of Da’as Torah. Autonomy and authority is being removed from women. With each new asifa (community rally against societal ills deemed threatening to the orthodox way of life) we see women’s control being stripped away. Each communal rally confirms that individual decisions about modest clothing, the length of wigs, internet usage, and many other personal considerations are now being dictated by rabbanim and not by women.
This transfer of power is by no means only a women’s issue; there are plenty of balebatim (the term is being used here to refer to laymen in the community) who are also having their authority as heads of their households diluted. However, even men who aren’t rabbis are allowed more prominent roles in shuls, school boards, mikvah boards, and other places of communal orthodox leadership. Women are often shut out of any communal roles of true authority except, for example, shul sisterhoods, PTAs, teaching women/girls/preschool boys, being mikveh ladies, and running charitable gemachs.
Now, even women’s roles as authority figures in their own homes is being threatened. No longer are we permitted to trust in our own seichel; now only trust in Emunas Chachamim will do – which necessarily shuts out women from the entire decision making process.
Image may be NSFW.
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