After yet another bout of adolescent friction with my oldest son, I joked, “That’s it! You have four weeks to move out of the house!”
My youngest son looked at me, and said, “You can’t kick your child out of your house!” and I told him, “Watch me!”
My oldest son merely rolled his eyes, because he’s scheduled to leave for Israel at the end of August to learn in yeshiva for the next year. Apparently, we forgot to spell out these plans for our youngest son (oops!), and when I explained my joke to him, he looked at me wide eyed and said, “He can’t go to Israel! That’s where all the bombs are!”
Funny, because that’s exactly what I have been thinking for the past month.
I’ve been chided about my fears considering that I live in the murder capital of the United States. However, what the news doesn’t tell you is that the majority of murders happening in Chicago are the result of gang warfare on the south and west sides of the city. Those of us living in neighborhoods outside of typical gang territories aren’t likely to get caught in the crossfire – and being a “member of the tribe” doesn’t constitute belonging to a rival gang in these parts. Not so in Israel.
It seems it’s a badge of honor to visit Israel or send children under the Iron Dome during this time of active conflict. Most people I’ve talked to downplay the danger to average Israeli citizens, even though we read about the daily red alerts sending people scrambling into their mamad (bomb shelter).
Whenever my family and I have planned a trip to Israel, the possibility of violent unrest always loomed in the background. When my husband and I visited around the end of the second intifada in early 2005, restaurant and store owners, obviously hurt by the decrease in tourism due to the violence, rolled out the red carpet for “the brave American tourists” who came to patronize their businesses despite perceived safety risks. Handwritten signs stuck to store windows beckoned tourists inside so that shopkeepers could show their gratitude for our patronage through special discounts and personal assistance.
My feelings as a mother sending her son to a faraway country currently in the middle of a war (Operation Protective Edge, a more fitting name for a disposable razor, than a military operation) is different than my feelings when I went to Israel with my family. In some ways, I would be less nervous if we were all going, than I am with my 17 year old son traveling alone and unfamiliar with what safety precautions to observe in Israel’s volatile atmosphere.
My apprehension seems silly compared to what Israeli parents cope with on a regular basis; sending their children directly into the line of fire as they enter the IDF. Still, my anxiety grows as each day brings an escalation to the current conflict and both sides seem intent on not backing down. I try to remember all the reasons we chose to send our son to beis medrash in Eretz Yisroel, when there are many fine institutions for post high school Torah learning right here in the United States. In fact, he could have continued on to the beis medrash program in his own alma mater, as many of his classmates chose to do.
My son asked a shaila of a local posek, “Is it assur to go to Israel due the current military situation?” He was told that it all depends on the state of mind of the person going. It isn’t assur to go to Israel, especially since his purpose for going is to learn Torah, which offers protection in and of itself. However, if the current state of affairs will cause a high level of anxiety, than it is assur for that person to go to Israel. Unfortunately, the psak mentioned nothing about the level of his mother’s anxiety.
