My daughter has been told many times at school that talking to boys is assur. Certainly, a girl should never initiate a conversation, but even if a boy initiates a “hello” or a “good Shabbos,” the best response is to ignore him and not return the greeting. If the boy is a distant relative or his family is close friends with the girl’s family and not responding would be rude, the girl might have to accede to a brief and grudging “hello” for the sake of politeness.
Recently, my daughter has been told something new. Talking to boys is the gateway to gehennom. Boys are demons waiting to lure unsuspecting girls to the fiery gates of hell. I’d always suspected that my husband and sons were the devil’s spawn, and so naturally, I asked my daughter how this would play out at home. Was she no longer permitted to speak to her father and brothers?
My daughter assured me that her father and brothers were not included in this category. It was perfectly fine for her to speak with them. Of course, that got me wondering whether or not I should send out some sort of announcement letting the other women and girls in my community know that my husband and sons were the only safe males with whom they were permitted to speak. That it’s only their husbands, fathers, brothers, and sons who are the demon spawn.
Upon further investigation, it turns out that it’s only safe for me and my daughter to speak to my husband and sons. It’s not safe for any other females to speak with them. Apparently, a male is only safe around the females in his own immediate family, but he turns into an uncontrollable devil among unrelated females. Of course, this does make me eye the men in my life with suspicion. After all, what if one day they confuse me for a woman unrelated to them? Is it safe to live under the same roof with such volatile creatures?
The important thing is that the first step in awareness has been taken. Information is power. When a man says hello to you, keep walking. It also couldn’t hurt to spit three times to ward off the dybbuk, “Pthui, pthui, pthui!”
