Me wearing a wig and a scarf
I was listening to an interesting online radio show yesterday, called Beyond the Matrix. The show, hosted by Ira Michaelson, is described as a “A hard hitting, no holds barred Radio Show dealing with Jewish Answers to Life and Faith.” This particular episode features two women, Andrea Grinberg and Rivka Malka Perlman, who are advocates of hair covering with scarves. The show begins around the 30 minute mark. The featured guests co-own an online business selling beautiful headwraps, and travel the country giving demonstrations on how to tie their elaborate creations. They also have many video tutorials of their wrapping techniques.
It was interesting listening to their perspectives about how head wraps bring a joy and spirituality that radiates from the wearer’s face. While both ladies were careful not to denigrate women who choose to wear wigs, they made it clear that they feel that head scarves are the optimal way for a frum woman (or any woman who wants to cover her hair for spiritual reasons) to fulfill the mitzvah of hair covering.
The male radio show host told the audience that his own wife chooses to cover her hair with scarves, and that he thinks that women who wear scarves are much more approachable than women who wear wigs. He felt that there is a certain sense of superiority that women in wigs have – their wig implies they feel more religious than women who cover their hair with scarves or hats.
As a woman who wears every type of hair covering, I kind of had to chuckle at all this. Sometimes a head covering is just a head covering. There is no judgment behind it, it is simply part of “the outfit of the day.” I’m not saying this is the case for every woman. As was apparent through the radio show guests, some women (some in partnership with their husbands) deliberately choose the type of hair covering they will and will not wear. However, for many of us, there is nothing sinister or judgmental behind our choices.
I found it interesting that one of the women, upon moving to Chicago, was told by a frum Chicago native that she needed to wear a wig if she wanted to fit in. I’ve lived in the Chicago frum community for over 20 years, and while there are some die hard wig wearers, and many women own wigs, you will see every type of hair covering worn in our community. Some women purposely never wear wigs, because they don’t feel it fulfills the mitzvah in an obvious way. Scarves and hats are not at all unusual, and I would never think to tell someone moving to Chicago that wearing a wig is a requirement here.
I think there are a lot of generalizations made about women who wear one type of head covering or another. Listening to the show, it seems that women who wear scarves are considered more open and friendly – they aren’t afraid to look different or be questioned about their hair covering practices. Also, women who wear scarves think of themselves regally, as queens adorned with a crown, visible to all those who see her. Women in wigs are thought to be more stand-offish and private – wishing to blend in so that people don’t know they cover their hair, and therefore, won’t have to answer questions about why they do it.
When a woman wears a scarf, it can be an automatic “teaching moment” useful for kiruv purposes, as it opens the door for further conversation. Also, wearing a scarf can be empowering, especially in today’s environment that seeks to subdue the appearance and presence of women. No woman wearing colorful headscarf creations can stay ignored or unseen. Headwrapping is definitely attention grabbing. As such, wearing colorful head wraps can possibly be seen as a feminist adornment – women can adhere to halacha, yet still stand out in a powerful way. Scarf wearing encourages women to be seen, to speak and teach about hair covering and the reason behind it, and express themselves artistically through the observance of the mitzvah of kisui rosh.
This discussion interested me, because I wore a scarf to our Purim seudah this year, and my grandmother remarked how much she liked it. She feels that my face is hidden when I wear my wig, and when I wear a scarf, it is more open. Coincidentally, her comments were exactly in synch with the radio show host and guests. Although these amazing women aren’t going to get me to give up my wig (I gotta have my “hair” sometimes), through their creativity and warmth, they are an inspiration to wear more scarves.
It’s nice to see women who embrace the mitzvah of hair covering with such enthusiasm, and motivate others to feel positive about it as well. That being said, I am no more “open” or “stand-offish” when wearing a scarf than when wearing a wig. I am the same person regardless of my head covering; the only difference is the way people judge me based on what type I’m wearing.
