Or so many Jewish women teachers would have us believe. I have listened to many shiurim (religious classes) over the years that talk about the female spirit and female personality traits. I have read books and articles that discuss Jewish femininity and what it means to be a Jewish woman.
A few days ago, I got yet another daily dose of inspiration from a female lecturer I have heard speak in person and whom I admire as an individual. However, the essay she sent regurgitated the same sentiments about women I have heard repeatedly to explain why women don’t need to play a public role in orthodox Jewish life. Simply, they don’t want to.
According to this rebbetzin’s missive, all Jewish women are innately private people, who can speak to G-d alone or behind a mechitza and feel connected without playing an active role in synagogue services or public venues. Although all women have a tendency to want to be private in their lives without having attention called to them, in the 21st century, we are confused by the allure of the variety of public roles that secular women have taken in our culture. As Jewish women, we question our instincts to be private when being a public figure is the only marker of success in today’s world.
The author goes on to give chizuk (support) to women to continue their role of the private person and leave the showmanship to the men. She appeals to us to leave secular standards of accomplishments by the wayside and realize that the only road to success for a Jewish woman is the private path.
I have heard this argument so many times and each time it rings a little more false. I find it presumptuous for someone to tell me what my nature is and how I can best serve Hashem based on stereotyped characteristics about my sex. I happen to not be a good example of my argument, because I am rather shy and also self-conscious about my Hebrew reading skills. I would be scared stiff to be called upon to lain, get an aliyah, or lead the davening. However, I know many women who could lain circles around many of the men who are called upon to do so each week on the bimah.
I also know many women who are quite outgoing and gregarious – not at all private and retiring. Quite a few of these women are able to nurture their natures in secular careers where they have a lot of responsibility, engage in social networking, and perform public speaking duties. However, in the frum world, these same women take a silent backseat in Jewish communal life due to their enforced private natures.
I simply dislike stereotypes and trying to neatly peg a person into whatever shape best suits the kind of society you are trying to create. Who benefits from women being pegged as private homebodies? Is it truly to the benefit of women or does it really benefit the men, who get to stay in charge? Also, why is it that most of these stereotypes (stemming from torah interpretations) have been created by men, but they are perpetuated by women (rebbetzins, female teachers, mothers, grandmothers). Why do we do this to ourselves?
